My beau now has work. A better job than what I have in my opinion. I am so happy for him. That fact leads me to think that maybe good things really happen to good people. Weak had always been so nice to everyone. Good karma perhaps. Forgive me for thinking that some divinity should be included in the equation - it has always been logical to think that students who study hard get the grades and the jobs. I'm not putting him down obviously. Maybe I just wanna remind myself of the career change I really have to take this year. I should not be where I am right now-at least not anymore. I used to be "right here" then but not in the months and years to come. I have to move on. This year, which I have proclaimed my year, is supposedly for things that can correct the things I have done in the past. No more mistakes, self.
Saturdays and Sundays were usually so short that I had to go absent very often during Mondays from work just to spend more time with Weak. I used to complain on how difficult it is to squeeze in time for myself, my family and my love life to those two days. Now, for the 2nd week, it still is Saturday but I wanna go to work already. It has never happened to me for more than a year I guess. I suddenly got excited to work again. I know why.
I have to keep myself busy. For all I know, I'm somewhat in a long-distance relationship now. I haven't seen Weak for more than a week now and I still don't know when I'll see him. His job required him to travel whenever, wherever. His job doesn't recognizes weekends. It just has deadlines to meet. What's good and what I'm glad of - actually close to getting envious of - is that he gets to roam around the Philippines. It's something I wanted for in my job, the ideal part of being an ECE. The job although still unstable pays well for an entry level.
I'm applying for jobs online now. Before I really swore I will not get back to entry level again but if what I'll get compensates more than what I make now, who cares? I'll gladly want to be a cadet once again. This time for the course I devoted years with. I actually consider going abroad but considering Weak weighs more. Yeah, I waited for him to get work and earn his own money; delayed the trips I could have taken months and years ago just so he could come with me. But now he sets out on his own for his job leaving me inevitably. But yes, I still can't leave him. If I'll go, we will go together. I've waited this long anyway.
It feels so wrong now. This job I have. For years I've tried to convince myself I can make right things come out of it but to my dismay I haven't. Things have changed for the good but poor me, I can't afford to be content with those changes. There's gotta be something more, better. This is my year! There could be no other better time to make brave changes than now.
I've also almost got all the rewards that making me hold on a little longer with this job. I actually expected for double of what I'll get but this is life.No regrets, just move on.
Opportunities really come my way. There's this opportunity of starting my own little business. Fingers crossed this could happen and bear fruits. I am in dire need of things to get busy with. I need a life not ran by my love life. Plus I need the money. Please, God, lead the way.
Destiny is not the path given to us; it is the path we choose. With mine, I choose to let God guide me to the path I have to choose.
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